Of all the changes I’ve made in my life over the last couple of years, there’s one which has been particularly massive in terms of it’s impact.
It has proven to be *so* powerful for me - in ways which weren't obvious at the time but - looking back - affected my psyche and subconscious in powerful ways I would never have imagined. I might even go so far as to say it was the single most powerful change in my life I made.
I'll cut right to the chase. There's a saying that says "You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with". American entrepreneur and motivational speaker Jim Rohn is credited with coining the quote, and Scott Dinsmore, the inspirational founder of Live Your Legend (and one of my personal heroes), often referred to it. It was one of his favourite quotes before he sadly passed away in 2015.
I would go one step further than that, and say that the thoughts and behaviours of those you surround yourself with will become the ones you adopt. You see, even if you're one of the most head-strong, individual person in the world, you will absorb the energy of those around you to a certain extent, whether you realise it or not.
Back when I was working in my sales job in the City and was growing increasingly helpless and dissatisfied, I started reading blogs like the aforementioned LiveYourLegend and going along to startup events at Google Campus in London. Without realising it, I wasn't only getting a taste of this "other world", but I was exposing myself to like-minded people who were already living and working in different ways, or whom were also on their way to doing so.
When we expand our horizons and expose ourselves to ways of thinking, doing and being that are outside of our bubble and thus "against the norm", amazing things happen.
Subsequently, through courses I have done, communities I've joined, and reacquainting with folks from my secondary (high) school, I have managed to cultivate a friendship community of likeminded folks with similar value and on my kinda path.
Don't get me wrong, it takes more than just surrounding yourself with the right people to make sh*t happen. But, wow, you will start to see, and believe, and embody, what is possible if you surrounding yourselves with the sort of people on your path who understand you, inspire you and energise you, as opposed to those who'll react to you as if you're crazy or stupid or weird. The people on the same wavelength as you... those right there are your people.
For example, going back to when I was working in my corporate job, when I was growing more and more dissatisfied and that feeling of emptiness was growing... Initially, I felt like the only person in the company - honestly, the only person in the whole WORLD - who was feeling like I did. I felt like an outsider, hopeless, as if I had to just bear it and that I had no right whatsoever to feel this way. I used to look around me as I travelling into work, and ask WHY-OH-WHY am I the only person who appears to be suffering so much on the inside (and that’s despite there being some prettyyy miserable-looking folks on early-morning trains). I didn't see any way out, as I felt everyone else was just mindlessly carrying on with their jobs and their lives without a care in the world.
A little more than 3 years after I quit that very same job, my reality is very different indeed.
I urge you to really think about who you spend your time with. About who you give your time to. Whether it's certain colleagues, (so-called) friends, or even family members...
Are these people good for you? Will they help you rise? Are they adding to your life?
Or are they doing just the opposite?
Make time to go to events to find your people. Find a subject or a theme you're interested in, and I *guarantee* there'll be a community somewhere near you (perhaps even right on your door-step) or, in the very worst case, online. Whilst I don't think real-life interaction can ever be replaced, I do believe that we can form some very nourishing relationships online, and that's the beauty of the internet - especially for us introverts.
So, key takeaways?
Always keep in mind those 5 people who you're spending the most time with. It will affect you in ways you're not even aware of.
And for us introverts and sensitive folks who are particularly affected by our environments and those with whom we keep company, it tends to affect us doubly.
Yoda’s final words of wisdom
Jedi's, when comes it to choosing who spend your time with you do, choose wisely you must. So, so important it is. The Force within you strong is, but nurtured with the right company it must be. Not what a Jedi needs is negative energy.
Wednesday, 31st October 2018 🎃
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